More Success for Allie!!

I'm so proud of Allie. She's been dry for over 24 hours. I was a little nervous last night when we went to a friend's house for supper where Allie wore underwear with no plastic pants over it. (They were all in the laundry - yikes!) I brought along a pad for her to sit on but there was no need. She really seems to be getting the hang of it. Last night she stayed dry and went pee on the potty first thing in the morning -- that's a huge turning point in potty training. I'm excited to see if she can do it again tonight. If not, tomorrow's a new day and we're not going to give up.

My main concern right now is helping her to feel comfortable with going #2 in the toilet. I'm not sure how. But once we pass that hurdle, the rubber pants will come off and she'll be one step closer to earning the ballerina Barbie that's sitting on top of the fridge still in the box.

I'm proud of Isaac, also. He's been very encouraging to Allie during her time of learning to stay dry and being in the spotlight. He had a hard time with it at first, though. A couple of weeks ago he said, "What about me? I use the potty all the time! Why don't you tell me 'good job' when I go?" I told him I was proud of him, too and that we're learning new things all the time and we all need encouragement. Now he just beams at her and gives her a big hug.

Allison's Rite of Passage (Honestly, no pun intended!)

I have a confession to make to you all: I am a terrible potty trainer. As much as I have grown weary of Pull-Ups, which are glorified diapers, I hate potty training even more. As a result, I have a 4 3/4 year old child who has no interest in using the potty.

Big deal, you might say. But it's embarrassing to have a child so big who runs up to you within earshot of other parents and says, "Mommy, I just pooped in my diaper."

At Allie's last pediatrician appointment several months ago, we talked about the situation. I explained how I tried everything: stickers, charts, incentive toys, and so on, but that she just completely lost interest. Her doctor said, "It's a power struggle. Just ask her, 'Is it time to go potty?'" That got me nowhere. Every time I asked her, the answer was always no.

Last month when the kids were sick we went back to the doctor's office and happened to see a different pediatrician -- one of those who fill in from time to time. I ashamedly told her that Allison was still in diapers at 4 1/2 years of age. She gave me the best advice: "Put her in underwear. That's it. It worked for my son. After two weeks he stayed dry all the time."
It wasn't the first time I had heard that advice. I had even tried it before. I had been loath to do it again because of how disgusting it is to rinse poop out of underwear (I actually gag) and to remove the lingering pee smell from the couch. No wonder I didn't stick with it for longer than a weekend.

Now, however, I have made a commitment to stick with this for as long as it takes. The time seems right for both of us. As of yesterday, Allison is in underwear all day long. No more using Pull-ups as a crutch for either of us. It's time to move on.

I've been doing some soul searching, trying to figure out what went wrong with potty training. Not to look for excuses or to find fault with myself, but to take an honest inside look and ask myself what the heck am I doing and why am I not doing what I feel I should be doing. I discovered that for some strange reason, change is hard for me. I can't help but blame myself for my children's delays. Just when I get my children figured out and I learn how to meet their needs, I find they've grown and their needs have changed and I have to catch up. While I may not win any awards for mother-of-the-year anytime soon, I love them earnestly and I'm convinced that they know it and that they can be secure in that knowledge. (Sniff) They're very affectionate kiddos.

So how have the first two days of underwear gone? Yesterday, which was day one, started out discouraging. After swim lessons, I put her in underwear and we went to the library. She sat down on the carpet and I asked if she had to go and she said no. A minute later, she peed right there. That was a frustrating beginning, naturally, but I am proud to say that she improved today. Today I got out some rubber pants for her to wear over her underwear to help contain any messes. They leak, but it's better than nothing and it's certainly better than diapers. She told me 6 or 7 times that she had to go potty today and actually went three or four of those times. I give her lots of hugs and when Isaac's around, we all hug each other and I say something like, "Hey, Isaac! Allie's going in the potty just like you and me! Isn't that so cool?? I'm so glad you guys use the potty." I also had to clean poop out of her underwear but it wasn't so bad now that I have faith that this will all be over in a couple of weeks of consistency.

Maybe change isn't so bad after all. It's turning out that this rite of passage for my daughter is turning out to be a rite of passage for me, too.

A Few Things I'm Thankful For

1. A safe trip to Indiana and back. We just got back this evening.
2. Shane put Allie on the potty when we got home tonight and she actually pooped in it!!! I made a huge deal of it and even took a picture of it, which Allie was excited about. (Her pooping on the potty has been a rare thing so far.) Don't worry, I won't post the picture. :)
3. We got our car fixed the day after Thanksgiving and were able to drive to New Castle, IN and Fremont, IN on Saturday with no problems! It nearly broke down on Wednesday only half an hour from Shane's mom's. I thought it was the transmission but it was only an ignition coil. It wasn't cheap but it's better than paying for a new transmission!
4. A wonderful time with Shane's mom Kay and her husband Bill; Shane's dad Bob, wife Jo, and sister Reba; Aunt Shirley, Uncle Bill, and extended family on the Bentz side; my Grandma and Grandad Sieber and extended family on my mother's side; my dad, wife Diane, and brother Chris and sister Kayla.
5. The life of my uncle Don Mapes, who passed away Saturday after a long illness.
6. Those of you in Indiana who faithfully read my blog. I'm grateful you're there and I'm flattered you come back again and again.
7. The new Newsboys greatest hits CD. We listened to 900 miles worth of it this weekend!
8. Zicam!!! I felt yet another cold virus coming on yesterday. I've been taking Zicam, which is Zinc, and my symptoms are much less severe. Oh, praise God. I have a lot of work to do this week, including babysitting, and I was wondering if I'd be up for it.
9. My gym membership starts this week. Now that the Thanksgiving dinners are over, I'm more than ready to slim down. My current body shape is a lot like my Grandma Mapes': normal arms and legs but a round belly and a double chin. I don't actually mind that too much. When I was a skinny teenager, I wanted to be a homemaker like Grandma and I decided I wanted to look matronly like her too. Now that I'm a homemaker, I'm finding it not necessary or healthy to be (even a little) overweight.
10. Christmas is coming!! I'm looking forward to putting up the tree again with the kids and experiencing the wonder of the season through their eyes. I'm making a nativity advent calendar for them. I'll post pictures of it when it's done.
11. God's watching over us and providing for us and speaking into our hearts through His word and for fellowship with other believers and for contemporary Christian music.

Potty Training Successes and Discipline

I find it interesting how potty training and discipline are intertwined. Since I made the potty chart, it's been easier to communicate to Allison what's expected of her. If she goes pee, she gets a sticker, if she flushes the potty, she gets a sticker, and so on. I even made a "Bonus" column to reward her for having a good attitude. If she grumbles or stomps her foot when it's time to try to go potty, I draw a sad face in the square and she gets no bonus sticker. Allison is actually staying dry for long periods finally! One night last week she stayed dry all night.

Last week was a good week for potty training and discipline. Reading "The Strong Willed Child" and "Parenting Isn't for Cowards," both by Dr. James Dobson, has really helped. I've been able to stay calm instead of get irritated when my kids disobey or have tantrums. I've been able to be firm and mean business instead of being a pushover. I've also been able to see that if I treat them with dignity (instead of anger borne out of irritation), that they actually respect me more.

This week hasn't been too great in part because Shane is out of town and because I've let our schedules get lax these last couple of days. I didn't put Allie down for a nap on Sunday or Monday and she was cranky at suppertime. It's hard not having Shane home at 5:45pm every day -- not just as a parent but as a spouse. The evenings are boring with no one to talk to and I have no energy to do the dishes!

To make things more difficult, Isaac has been peeing his pants. He's been totally dry for a good six months or more. Then last week he started putting stickers on Allison's potty chart whenever he went potty and talking baby talk. (Total regression, I know!) I think things will improve drastically in the Fall when he starts kindergarten and she starts preschool and they're around their peers. Till then, I'd like to start enjoying this summer instead of just trying to get through it!

Not that I'm down about all this stuff. There is joy in the Lord!

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

Potty Training the Strong Willed Child, Part 2

Yesterday was a bad day for potty training. In the morning, she pooped in her new underwear. Then she pooped twice in her pull-ups. Just getting her to sit on the potty is a major pain! In the afternoon, we battled wills for 45 minutes while she begged to go outside and I kept telling her to sit on the potty first and then she could go outside. When she sits on the potty and actually goes and then puts her reward stickers on the chart, it's a beautiful thing. If only she was always so agreeable!!!
Maybe I waited too long and she's too set in her ways. Hindsight is always 20/20! But saying I waited too long doesn't help in the present. What do I do now? Does anyone know how to potty-train the strong willed child??
By the way, I checked out the book, "The Strong Willed Child," by James Dobson. If this book helps me to parent her better, then I can train her to use the potty. Know what I mean?
Your prayers and advice are appreciated! (Just don't tell me that your kids were trained at 18 months. That's depressing!)

Potty Training the Strong-Willed Child

I stepped up the potty training a knotch with Allison, our 3 1/2 year old this past weekend. I put her on the potty every hour, bought her The Little Mermaid underwear (her favorite character) and had her put stickers on a potty chart. She stayed dry all day yesterday and even pooped in the potty last night before bed. She pooped in her underwear this morning, but I made her stand up while I cleaned it up. No more lying down on the floor while her bottom gets wiped. We still have a ways to go but after 9 months of no progress, I feel more encouraged! I keep reminding myself that she and I need to work as a TEAM!! Being consistent with this is exhausting, and it's embarrasing to have a 3 1/2 year old not potty trained yet. Maybe later I'll post a picture of her in the new underwear she's so excited about.