Asperger's Update

I had a great conversation with the school psychologist today about Isaac's behavioral issues. It turns out that she hadn't ruled out Asperger's but that it had been a concern to watch out for "down the road." I'm so glad I talked to her. She answered a lot of my questions. The best part is that she's going to meet with Isaac for half and hour every week to work on appropriate social responses and reading social cues. I'm so hopeful and grateful. She's also supportive of my taking Isaac to a child psychologist (in addition to her) if his pediatrician recommends it. Our appointment with Isaac's pediatrician is on Tuesday.

Also, many thanks to C. L. for sharing with me her experiences with her son's Asperger's and helpful insights she's gleaned! I have a lot to learn but already I feel so much better informed. Asperger's Syndrome doesn't sound so horrible after all. :)

I'm wondering again... Is it Asperger's?

Two things are weighing on my heart tonight.

Firstly, I watched a home video tonight with my mom in it and seeing her smile again brought me to tears. She was looking right at the camera and smiling so peacefully. I turned to my kids and said, "See, that's your Grandma Truex...she's my mom. I haven't seen her since before you were born and that makes me sad." (It's been about seven years.)

Secondly, I read this article about Asperger's Syndrome at http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/OnCall/story?id=4133184&page=1. This paragraph gave me a jolt when I realized they could be describing Isaac:

"Asperger's syndrome is just one disorder in the autism family, resulting in extreme social awkwardness. But unlike many autistic people, those with the disorder can maintain relationships with people, including marriage, and hold down jobs, according to Chapman. Despite this, patients often have a hard time detecting emotional subtleties and social cues that the average person takes for granted."

Omigosh. I think that might be Isaac's problem. Our pediatrician suggested he might have it when I took him in for his 3rd year physical. I had Isaac evaluated through the Oregon school system and he was found to have some delays, and Asperger's was ruled out. Now that these instances of bullying have happened to my son, I'm wondering if they're picking on him because he's different. Is he different because of...Asperger's? I've been saying over and over again how socially awkward he is and that he has always had a problem reading social cues... I guess my next steps would be to call the school psychologist again and discuss it with her. I can also call the child psychologist our pediatrician recommended a few years ago. I never took Isaac to see her because she had a nine-month waiting list. Now I'm thinking it would be worth the wait to get a second opinion and some answers to Isaac's behavior issues. I'll keep you updated. However, it may be awhile if there's still a long waiting list.

So, I'm feeling a little depressed right now because of the bullying, wondering about Asperger's, and missing my mom. (I don't miss her smothering me, though! She was the queen of over-protective mothers.) But underneath it all, I feel happy. I enjoy being home during the day and babysitting, spending the evenings with Shane in the family room, reading my European history books whenever I can -- sometimes by the fireplace, or in bed, or in a bubble bath, or at the gym while I work out. Shane and I have a new favorite show we enjoy watching together ("Psych" on the USA network).

I'd like to end this depressing post with a prayer: Lord, help me to be a good mother to my children especially when they need me most. Help me to make wise decisions regarding Isaac's instruction and care. Thank you for Shane and the man you made him to be -- patient, personable, insightful, charming. Shane was an awkward diamond in the rough when he was a kid, being teased and taunted because of his cleft lip. You redeemed that boy; you made him a man of Godly character who is slow to judge and quick to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Father God, I pray that in the same way, you'd shape Isaac into a Godly young man, and instill in him all the Fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control, and gentleness. Let my son never doubt his intrinsic worth; may he be confident in You. May You be his Ever-Present Defender. Forgive me for worrying, help me to trust You fully, and guide my steps. Amen.

Isaac Bullied at School Yesterday

I don't have much time right now, but I've been wanting to post this all day, so here goes. Hopefully, it'll be short and sweet and I'll have plenty of time to grab a shower and make dinner.

Isaac was bullied yesterday during the last recess by two boys, Zach and Evan (Kindergarteners from another class). They pushed him down, tackled him, and punched in the arm twice and made him cry. This is not the first time these boys have bullied him. The last time, they lost their recess privileges and had to earn them back. Anyway, as soon as Isaac told me about it last night, I emailed his teacher who forwarded it to Mr. Johnson, the Assistant Principal. Mr. Johnson called me this morning to assure me that it's a high priority to make school "a safe place" for Isaac and that he would talk to everyone involved today.

Mr. Johnson called me again this afternoon and said that the boys have written letters of apology to Isaac and that they will be disciplined. He couldn't go into what the discipline was, but on Monday he's going to meet with the three boys during recess and do a structured activity with them. I look forward to knowing what that is. Please pray that Isaac would be Christ-like: especially loving, forgiving, and gracious, and that Zach and Evan would learn compassion and the appropriate way to play, and that all three boys would learn a positive lesson from this. I don't know what the boys' home lives are like, but I pray that they would receive the love and attention and direction they need from the adults who care for them. In addition, please pray for Isaac to learn to love his enemies and to pray for them. What an opportunity for an object lesson this provides for Isaac. Still, it breaks my heart to know that he was mistreated. But I'm happy to say that I have a lot of confidence in the staff at school and I am impressed at how quickly this was handled and that my concerns have been heard and measures have been put in place. As for the long term, however, it remains to be seen whether those measures will be successful. I'll update my blog later when I find out more information. Thanks for your prayers.

No Front Teeth!

Isaac lost his 4th tooth just now. Check out his adorable toothless grin! His smile will sure look different when his permanent teeth come in. (Click on a picture to see him better.)